请大家帮我改改我的英文日记,what time is it now?it is our vacation.today was the first day of the winter vacation.i think i can do many things thati want to during this time.i can watch the dvd of desperate housewives.i should make full u

请大家帮我改改我的英文日记,what time is it now?it is our vacation.today was the first day of the winter vacation.i think i can do many things thati want to during this time.i can watch the dvd of desperate housewives.i should make full u
请大家帮我改改我的英文日记,
what time is it now?it is our vacation.today was the first day of the winter vacation.i think i can do many things that
i want to during this time.i can watch the dvd of desperate housewives.i should make full use of my vocation.not only palying but aslo studying.i will make a plan about my english studying.i will go out with my friends.i will go to see my grandmother and grandfather.there are many many'i will'in this vocation.

请大家帮我改改我的英文日记,what time is it now?it is our vacation.today was the first day of the winter vacation.i think i can do many things thati want to during this time.i can watch the dvd of desperate housewives.i should make full u
第三句没人这么说的,应该是I THINK I COULD DO MANY THINGS I WANT DURING THIS TIME.后面的CAN都该COULD,表示能够.“i should make full use of my vocation”应该改为“ i should make my vovation fully-used”,"not only playing but aslo studying"改“NOT ONLY PLAY BUT ALSO STUDY”." i will make a plan for my english study"改“i will make a plan for my english studing”."i will go out with my friends"改为“i will hang out with my friends”."i will go to see my grandmother and grandfather"中建议去掉TO,读起来挺怪的.结尾是完全的中式英语,建议改得平实一点,例如,I will have an unforgetable vocation!
我在美国上高中

what time is it now?it is our vacation. today is the first day of the winter vacation. i think i can do many things that
i want to during this time. i can watch the dvd of desperate housewives. i...

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what time is it now?it is our vacation. today is the first day of the winter vacation. i think i can do many things that
i want to during this time. i can watch the dvd of desperate housewives. i should make full use of my vocation.not only playing but aslo studying. i will make a plan for my english study. i will go out with my friends.i will go to see my grandmother and grandfather. there are many many‘i will'in this vacation.
只是一个时态问题和两个拼写问题，不错。
make full use of没错

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