修改 英语 自我介绍帮我修改一下这篇自我介绍,觉得简单句太多了,特别是几乎每一句都是 I 、my 开头.而且还不知道有没有语法错误.Good morning/afternoon,.I am very glad to here for this interview,My name is

修改 英语 自我介绍帮我修改一下这篇自我介绍,觉得简单句太多了,特别是几乎每一句都是 I 、my 开头.而且还不知道有没有语法错误.Good morning/afternoon,.I am very glad to here for this interview,My name is
修改 英语 自我介绍
帮我修改一下这篇自我介绍,觉得简单句太多了,特别是几乎每一句都是 I 、my 开头.而且还不知道有没有语法错误.
Good morning/afternoon,.I am very glad to here for this interview,My name is XXX,I am 22 years old,I came from XXX,Guangdong provience.My undergraduate period will be accomplished in XXX university in July this year,and now I am trying my best for obtaining a key to XXX university.
I am open-minded,quick in thought and have a good team spirit.In my spare time,I have broad interest like many other younger.I like reading books,especially those about XXX.
Frequently,I exchange with other people by discussing problems in study; I think this is an effective method for study.It is prettily important for study to having good methods and high efficiencies.I am able to operate the computer well,I am skillful in searching for information in Internet.
I always believe that one will easily lay behind unless he keeps on learning.Of course,if I am given a chance to have a further study in XXX,I will do my best to master advanced knowledge and make some achievement in this field.

修改 英语 自我介绍帮我修改一下这篇自我介绍,觉得简单句太多了,特别是几乎每一句都是 I 、my 开头.而且还不知道有没有语法错误.Good morning/afternoon,.I am very glad to here for this interview,My name is
如果是文稿的话,绝对不能出现good morning的开头,这是非常不正式的,如果是口语演讲还好.
Good morning/afternoon,. I am very glad to be (语法)here for this interview, My name is XXX,22 years old, from XXX,Guangdong provience(语法要简短,不要出现一句话多个主语).My undergraduate course will be complited at(介词) XXX university in July this year, and now I am trying my best to obtain a key to XXX university.(什么意思?改为：I'm trying my best to get the best degree from xxx university)
I am open-minded, quick in thought and have a good team spirit. In my spare time, I have broad interests like many other young people.For example,(连接) I like reading books, especially those about XXX.
Usually(Freq用的不切适宜), I share my experience(话说完) with other people by discussing problems in study; I think this is an effective method for study. In my opinion(主观观点引入不要太生硬), it is pretty（用词） important for study that(差that) to have(to后面跟原形) good methods and high efficiencies. I am able to use（除非你是想说拆卸电脑、肢解系统非常厉害,或者用电脑去咋人什么的,否则不要operate你的电脑） the computer well, Especially, I have confidence in my skills of(避免重复I am) searching for information on the(介词) Internet.
I always believe that one will easily fall behind(词组) unless he keeps on learning. So that,(除非你要挑衅别人的之上,不要轻易用of course) if I have(客气点,说明你有意愿接受别人给你的机会)a chance to take a further study course in XXX, I will do my best to master advanced knowledge and contribute(所有企业都关心你到能为他们contribute什么) my achievement in this field.
1.如果是演说稿,不介意简单句多,反而复杂据造成听力上的困难
2.着重说一下你具体对别人有什么贡献,我不帮你添加这些内容了,特别是你的特点那一段,你要具体怎么应用你的优点来帮助别人.
3.小语法改了,还有些表达不通顺的地方,应该不会造成太大的障碍.
4.如果这是文稿,我建议从头重写,完全要不得.要用非常正式正规的语言,措词要相当准确.